An Actual Photo from our FCIC Finest and Bravest Calendar
"I would freeze on the road while driving screaming cause I thought he would turn around and chase me down and kill me."
by Jackie Gilbert Hensley
It isn't as awful as most but I want to share it anyway. As most of you know I didn't overcome one but two separate domestic violence events in my lifetime. I was a rape victim in 1988 that took us 3 yrs to go to court and he only spent 9 months in jail for assault with intent to rape. I guess some is better than none, but I was a young girl about 19 and was trying to be cool hanging with friends well one of them decided he would play a "JOKE" on me and tied me to his grandfathers bed and covered my face and raped me. I was scared, devastated, and I didn't know what to do my first instinct was to try not to get hurt and play it cool till I could get out of there. I can't even remember how I got home, I was living with my brother and I knew he would be all sorts of pissed at me. Anyway his friends made me go to the police and it was on from there. I am glad I went to the police because I found out that this person had done this once before. But got off because she was talked out of it by his family members. I didn't let that happen even tough someone tried to talk me out of it. I was scared for months. I would freeze on the road while driving screaming cause I thought he would turn around and chase me down and kill me. It was horrible, but I later found that the more I talked about this the better I felt. I shouldn't be ashamed because I didn't do anything to deserve this. As the years went on I managed to have a somewhat normal life although I only have a few issues.
The second was by my ex husband. I didn't know what verbal abuse was till this was over on November 6, 2009. He had become addicted to drugs and was in a bad way he hadn't worked in over two years I was supporting him and my three children. I don't know how I just did, I missed a lot while I tried to do all of this on my own. He was never really into our family, only when he wanted to show it off for someone. He didn't go to my sons football games he didn't go to court hearings with my other son when he had emotional issues from his father. He didn't help clean house or cook dinner all he did was run around and spend time at his friends house. From the time he woke up till the time he went to bed. No kidding. Finally on this night 5 years ago I was done, an event happened that opened my eyes and made me realize I needed to get out before I got hurt. He had put a gun to his mouth, threatened to kill me if I ever left him and kill whomever I was with, that nobody would ever treat me as good as he did. He told me nobody would want my "FAT ASS" That I was a piece of shit and that only he could love me the way he does. Nobody else. I never said much cause I was done a long time ago. I was a normally happy person and this was being taken away from not only me but my kids. When you mess with my kids I get pissed. He said something to my son that night that I will never ever forget. I watched in sorrow as my son screamed at him with this anger of you never spend any time with us. I knew then it was time to get out. The fight escalated over that week and the following Saturday morning I tried to force him to leave because he said he wasn't going anywhere I said yes you will, that I pay the bills here and the lease is in my name you will go. He started taunting me with a camera I bought from a friend from CCMC, Laura and he said he was taking it. Well I went to grab for the camera back and he pushed me down on our bed he fell on top of me and I felt his right arm lift up off of me and I cringed because I knew what was coming. Sure enough I felt his fist hit my face. Thank God my son came to my rescue because I don't know what would have happened. Well the police were called and they came Tpr. Weekley, I applaud you because if it wasn't for you calling the judge and asking if she would wait on a Saturday I may not have finally left, she agree'd to wait and I went down and filed police report and DV order. He was removed before I got home. Story over, but most don't end like that.
Please remember that DV is real, that the person standing next to you may be going through the same thing. No woman or man deserves to be put down and degreaded so bad that he makes you feel bad about yourself. You are special and you need to take care of yourself.
5 Years later, I have a wonderful man who has shown me what a real man is. I am so thankful for him. He has made for forget all the things I have been thru. He is my angel.
So to all my friends in the Ball family, Bernie, Kerra, Katy, Debbie, Jill, Jeff, and Phil. I'm am sorry that Cindy was put through so much. I will miss her smiling face, she was always so happy, "Cindy Lou who is who she reminded me of with her love of everyone. Thank you for being so kind and influencing me to share my stories which I haven't done like this ever. And to my children, I'm so sorry that you had to go through so much. I will forever love each of you unconditionally.
Rest Easy Cindy this was for you. We will make something positive out of something so awful.
One in four women will be a victim of domestic violence in their lifetime. Odds are you or someone you know will be a victim. The Fcic Domesticviolence Shelter serves 8 counties in our area.
The photos commemorate the 39 lives lost to Domestic Violence in West Virginia in the last 12 months.
Lighting the Rememberance Candles
Board President Laurea Ellis and FCIC Shelter Executive Director Emily Larkins
Close to 100 came to say "goodbye" to the victims
Call 1.304.428.2333 for the FCIC Shelter .If you need medical attention, call your health care provider or go to an emergency room. If you are pregnant, it is important to seek prenatal care. Domestic violence can cause many different health problems and injuries that should not be ignored.
Helping You To Survive.
If you’re feeling frightened about what comes next, don’t be. Embrace the uncertainty. Allow it to lead you places. Be brave as it challenges you to exercise both your heart and your mind as you create your own path towards happiness, don’t waste time with regret. Spin wildly into your next action.
Enjoy the present, each moment, as it comes; because you’ll never get another one quite like it. And if you should ever look up and find yourself lost, simply take a breath and start over. Retrace your steps and go back to the purest place in your heart.. where your hope lives. You’ll find you’re way again.
The FCIC cares about you, cares for you, comforts you, gives you shelter, clothing and the life you long for, and we're just a phone call away. Our 24 hour hot line: 1.800.794.2335 or 1.304.428.2333.
The purpose of The Family Crisis Intervention Center Region V is to advocate the end of Domestic Violence.
The purpose of The Family Crisis Intervention Center is to advocate and support social change that will result in non-violent relationships, homes and communities. The Family Crisis Intervention Center in Parkersburg takes care of the needs of our neighbors in 8 counties. For this, funds are limited; but funds are needed!
As we work toward this social change, the Center provides public education, direct services, a haven, and programs related to the issues of domestic and sexual violence. Services are provided in the West Virginia counties of Calhoun, Jackson, Pleasants, Ritchie, Roane, Tyler, Wirt and Wood.
Our 24 hour hot line: 1.800.794.2335 or 1.304.428.2333.
-0-OUR FCIC KIDS FIRST PROGRAM
"In my darkest hour both broken and bruised I didn't know how I would cope or heal. I found a place of hope and encouragement, and I found it within the walls of the FCIC. It was there I recovered and gained strength, and they gave me the greatest gift of all...a helping hand at obtaining my independence and freedom. May god bless this wonderful haven, and those who reside and work within it."
~Celena Roby, Author of Celena's Law
It is clear that the way to heal society of its violence... and lack of love is to replace the pyramid of domination with the circle of equality and respect.
ARE YOU ONE IN EVERY FOUR?
One in every four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime. An estimated 1.3 million women are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year. Almost one-third of female homicide victims that are reported in police records are killed by an intimate partner.
1.800.794.2335 or 1.304.428.2333.